Editor’s note: This commentary is by Bob Stannard, a former lobbyist, who is still an author and musician. This piece first appeared in the Bennington Banner.
[W]ell, America, you did the unexpected, the unimaginable. You elected Donald Trump to succeed Barack Obama. Melania Trump will replace Michelle Obama as first lady. The Obamas have held their respective positions with grace and dignity for eight years. The Obama administration has been virtually scandal free. Conversely, the inexperienced Mr. Trump’s history is one of defrauding and demeaning others. There’s naked photos of Mrs. Trump circulating around the internet.
I asked a friend of ours from Italy, Alice, what she thought of our elections. She said she hoped Trump would win. I asked why and she said, “Then you can no longer make fun of Italy for electing Silvio Berlusconi.” Touché.
Oh yes, the next four years are going to be very interesting. We have a lot to look forward to. Mr. Trump may be able to appoint as many as four justices to the U.S. Supreme Court, thus reconfiguring the court for decades to come.
We should all begin to ratchet up our excitement and the new $20 billion wall that should be under construction by next spring with money that we’ll have to either borrow from China or increase our national debt to build. It should be fun to watch this debate over more government spending.
The Affordable Care Act is dead and will be replaced with the secret plan the nation has waited eight years to see. That alone should provide us with enough excitement to get us to sugaring season. Meanwhile, Paul Ryan anxiously awaits privatizing Medicare and cutting Social Security.
The Affordable Care Act is dead and will be replaced with the secret plan the nation has waited eight years to see. That alone should provide us with enough excitement to get us to sugaring season.
While 22 million people anxiously await losing their health insurance, they can convert their angst to joy as Mr. Trump, who declared that he knows more than his generals, defeats ISIS in his first 100 days. Now, I know that you’re wondering how we might get the Muslim community to help us with ISIS while we simultaneously ban Muslims from coming to America, but have no fear, there’s another secret plan in the making.
It’ll be thrilling to see how life in America will change without the EPA, which Mr. Trump declared he would abolish, along with the regulations that have been put in place to protect Americans. We should quickly adapt to having our national parks turned over to people like the Bundys and the Kochs, who will be free to exploit our national treasures at will.
We can marvel at how our schools will function with nearly 500,000 fewer teachers that Mr. Trump has promised to eliminate. Inasmuch as he’ll be uprooting 11 million illegal aliens (a cornerstone promise of his campaign) we will presumably need fewer teachers.
So as not to get distracted, we can sit back and watch the 70,000 lost factories return to America along with the lost jobs. We can watch the miracle of witnessing corporations reopening factories that they deserted creating new jobs that will compete with $2.70 average hourly wage in China.
If you’re rich you should be ecstatic as you are in store for another round of much needed tax cuts. Our corporations are salivating at the prospect of being allowed to pay much less in corporate taxes. Of course, by lowering the revenue that would be coming from the rich and corporations, we’re going to have to cut spending. Don’t worry. There are more than enough programs that we can cut and/or eliminate completely like renewable energy or dealing with climate change. Trump supporters made it clear that they want less government. Let’s see if they comprehend the concept of cause and effect.
Some are thrilled and some are stunned. Many don’t know what to make of this election. Will a man with the attention span of a 2-year-old really be able to be president? Will he finally release his tax returns? When will the Russians stop celebrating?These are questions that will linger on for some time.
I’ll never chastise Italy again.
