This commentary is by Meghan Masterson, executive director of KidSafe Collaborative, and Lauren Porell, director of program services for Steps to End Domestic Violence, who are writing on behalf of the Chittenden County Children Exposed to Domestic Violence Committee.
Domestic and intimate partner violence doesn’t just affect the adults directly involved, as became tragically evident recently when a Burlington man was accused of killing his wife with a flashlight in front of three children. Nationally, an estimated 1 in 4 children live in a household where domestic violence is present sometime during their lifetime. In Vermont, a 2025 survey found that domestic violence was part of the reason 430 children were not safe in their homes. For 75% of those children and youth, domestic violence was identified as a factor that had prevented or was preventing them from returning to live with their parents.
Children who see, hear or live with violence between caregivers can be profoundly affected, even when they are not physically injured or directly targeted. Children may experience fear, confusion, grief and the loss of their sense of safety. It impacts the very core of who they are and how they see the world.
Children depend on the adults around them for security and care. That is compromised when domestic violence is present. This reality reminds us that the impact extends beyond the immediate incident. They carry the sometimes invisible effects of what happened long after the immediate danger has passed and may experience ongoing fear, confusion and grief.
These experiences matter. The absence of physical injury does not mean the absence of harm. During October, Domestic Violence Awareness Month, it is important to recognize and respond to the impacts on children too. Every child deserves to grow up in an environment where they feel safe.
Children are not simply bystanders to domestic violence. They deserve to be believed and protected in the same way adult victims are. Their safety and well-being must be part of how we understand, prevent and respond to domestic and intimate partner violence. That requires awareness, collaboration and a shared commitment across our communities and the systems and organizations that support children and families.
We must recognize children’s experiences, take their needs seriously and ensure the impact on them is never overlooked.
