Dear Editor,
When I was in high school, recognizing people’s pronouns began to feel like a nationwide shift. Teachers asked us to include them in introductions. People added them to Instagram bios. It felt new, intentional, like something was changing.
At the same time, I was coming to terms with my own gender identity. As a nonbinary person, it was a radical period of self-expression. The way others perceived me started to matter more because, for the first time, I had the language to express who I was. When I shared my pronouns and people respected them, I felt seen. The constant discomfort I carried began to ease.
I wasn’t alone in that experience. For many people, having their pronouns recognized is directly tied to their sense of safety and well-being. But as pronouns became more normalized, they also became more passive.
Now, as a senior at Saint Michael’s College, I am being misgendered more than ever. People seem to tune pronouns out during introductions. Even though I feel like mine are everywhere — in conversations, in email signatures, in my social media profiles — I am still misgendered, even by professors.
Corrections don’t always stick. Reminders don’t always matter. The social pressure that once encouraged people to share and respect pronouns has faded.
We’ve slipped back into assumptions based on appearance. Back into the same rigid gender expectations that once made visibility so difficult. And even though I may present more femininely, that doesn’t change who I am. It’s hard to fully explain the feeling of being misgendered — it is devastating.
A 2023 study in the International Journal of Transgender Health found that misgendering significantly increases anxiety, depression and psychological distress. Using someone’s correct pronouns is not complicated. It is not a trend. It is an act of basic human decency.
So this isn’t just a request, it’s a challenge. Care again. Pay attention again. Make the effort again.
Let’s make pronouns matter again. Not because you feel like you have to, but because you understand why they should.
Rory York
Colchester, Vt.
Disclosure: VTDigger Opinion Editor Tess Stimson previously served as a professor at Saint Michael’s College.
