This commentary is by Wren Gomes, a student at Saint Michael’s College in Colchester.
The first time I posted a picture of myself on Instagram, I wasn’t expecting much. It was a simple way to share what I was up to with friends. I didn’t consider the effects that posting would have on me: It was as if my self-worth suddenly became defined by the number of likes and comments I got.
I constantly compared my posts to other people’s. Not only their likes, but the way they looked — gorgeous hair, flawless skin, amazing style; everything I felt I lacked. When I brought this issue up to friends, they agreed they also saw inadequacies in both themselves and their lives as a result of comparing themselves to people online.
But I didn’t realize I had a problem until about two years ago, after I posted photos of myself on vacation and panicked when some of my friends didn’t comment. My automatic response had been to assume they didn’t like me. When I calmed down, I realized this obviously wasn’t true, and it finally dawned on me that social media had too much control over my thoughts and emotions.
A survey by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services found that 46% of adolescents feel social media has caused them to worry about their body image. Social media is breaking down teenage confidence and self-esteem bit by bit.
As most of us know, what we see online isn’t reality. People post the best versions and moments of themselves — how they look, how they act, their friend group, how their vacation went — but they never show the whole truth. Maybe their friend group fought the whole time, or their vacation was actually a nightmare. These are normal parts of human life that we forget about when viewing people’s perfectly crafted posts.
The pressure of fitting in and gaining social approval runs rampant during our teenage years. Social media is a way to explore our identity and curate an image of ourselves. When a peer judges this image, particularly our appearance, popularity or lifestyle, it can lower self-esteem and make us feel as if we don’t belong.
A report by NHS Digital, a data service for health and social care in England, found that nearly 16.7% of 11- to 16-year-olds believe the number of reactions they received, such as thumbs-up or heart emojis, impacted their mood. It may seem foolish to let a symbol dictate the way you feel, but that is now our reality.
But there are ways to mitigate the impact. The first solution — limiting screen time — seems obvious, but it’s the most effective tactic for taking yourself out of the unrealistic expectations of the online world and back into the real one. According to the American Psychological Association, a 50% decrease in social media use in young adults and teens led to a significant improvement in how they saw themselves in just a few weeks.
The first time I heard this advice, I was very hesitant. Nonetheless, I tried cutting back a bit from my five hours a day on social media and made sure to dedicate an extra hour to doing something meaningful. Not only did I feel less stressed, but I also had more time to be productive and do what I loved: journaling, seeing friends and family, working out — all the activities that were good for my mental health. By doing this more, I realized the world is not social media, and social media is not the world.
Even if you don’t feel like limiting your media usage by half right away, decreasing it by just an hour, as I did, can be beneficial. Set a goal to spend fewer than three hours on social media, as anything above it doubles your risk of mental health problems, according to the HHS. When you’re not on your phone, take the time to have fun and build connections with others. Maybe go for a walk, get food with a friend or write in a journal. No matter what it is, be present.
It also helps if you curate your social media feed to be more positive. When you see something that upsets you or makes you overthink, hit the “Not Interested” button. Over time, fewer of the posts that bring you down will appear. However, it is inevitable you’ll see something that hurts your feelings, so limiting social media use overall remains the best long-term option.
It’s not natural to be constantly exposed to unlimited information or have insight into every aspect of another person’s life. Dialing down our exposure to social media can ground us in reality and ensure that we don’t waste away the one precious life we’ve been given.
Disclosure: VTDigger Opinion Editor Tess Stimson previously served as a professor at Saint Michael’s College.
