Editor’s note: This commentary is by Don Keelan, a certified public accountant and resident of Arlington. The piece first appeared in the Bennington Banner.
[A] number of years ago, attending Sunday Mass at our parish church, several of our five children were assigned to the “bullpen,” a glass enclosed room at the back of the church. The room had but one purpose and that was to prevent the parishioners from having to hear screaming kids during Mass.
Now comes along, some 45 years later, Jason Gay. The Wall Street Journal columnist wrote a piece for the paper on June 23 recommending that a plastic box be provided for parents of children who are engaged in sports.
Gay notes that according to the Washington Post there is an alarming shortage of referees for soccer, baseball and football youth sports. The reason: parents – “yelling, complaining, entitled, know-it-all, rotten, difficult, impossible, no-good-parents – driving away perfectly decent citizens making small wages trying to help their children play meaningless games for exercise and fun.”
It is not only parents who yell. According to a recent article in the Bennington Banner, the coach of the local American Legion baseball team was discharged for yelling at his players. I had thought that only Marine Corps drill instructors did the yelling – why a baseball coach?
Decades ago my wife and I watched our children play team sports – preteen, in high school, and a couple of them in college. We attended their games as much as our schedules would allow. A daily 1½-hour commute back and forth to work didn’t exactly get me to every game. One thing we avoided was being obnoxious fans.
We saw the benefits of having our children participate in sports – self-discipline, commitment, self-confidence, teamwork, conditioning, love of the game, and being able to deal with defeat. At no time did we ever think they had a future in the NBA, MLB, NFL or NHL.
If we are about promoting family life at home, how does this demanding sports schedule support that more important goal?
So what is the real reason for the frustration that plays out in the sports arena stands today? I believe a great deal of the anxiety has to do with what takes place, not on the field, rink or court, but before the young athlete puts his or her uniform on.
I heard from a father recently, that he makes 15 trips during the workweek, between 5 and 7 p.m., to bring his three children to their school sports practices. But it gets even more difficult for family life. He told me that many of the team games are scheduled on Sundays. He also pointed out that two of his girls had games on Mother’s Day. If we are about promoting family life at home, how does this demanding sports schedule support that more important goal?
Another level of frustration for screaming parents could very well be the costs of having a child participate in organized sports. The dollar investment in outfitting a youngster for his/her hockey team can easily approach $500 to $1,000 or more. And this investment (before ice time fees) only increases as the player grows in size and skill year after year.
Unfortunately, for Vermont parents and kids, competition with other teams is not local. Travel is necessary – lots of it and, many times, overnight stays are required. The frustration needle just goes higher.
I gather it might be too much to ask, but what ever happened to neighborhood pickup games? I have to assume that there is a significant difference growing up in an urban environment versus a suburban/rural one. That being said, maybe there is a middle ground somewhere?
In the meantime, Jason Gay may have a point, place the yelling parents in a plastic box or better yet, have them stay at home. In the end, it is only a game, nothing more. And frankly, a great deal more can be gained having the family at the dinner table.
