This commentary is by Aimee Loiter, education director at Temple Sinai in South Burlington.
As the school year wraps up across Vermont, many parents are turning their thoughts toward summer plans and next year’s activities. For Jewish families, this is also the time to ask a deeper question: How will my child stay connected to their identity in a complicated world?
There is perhaps no more powerful answer than the journey of becoming Bar or Bat Mitzvah.
A Bar or Bat Mitzvah marks a young person’s transition into Jewish responsibility. But it is far more than a religious tradition. It’s a formative rite of passage that strengthens identity, builds confidence and offers a deep sense of belonging, especially vital at a time when the world feels increasingly uncertain.
The Jewish community has been shaken once again by violence connected to a global rise in antisemitism. For Jewish children — especially those growing up in places like Vermont, where they may be one of just a few in their class — the headlines can feel isolating. But stepping into Jewish adulthood, surrounded by a community that sings with you, learns with you, and celebrates with you, can be a powerful antidote to fear.
Early teen years are a time when kids begin asking, “Who am I?” and “Where do I fit in?” This is a crucial window for forming identity and building resilience. Taking on the challenge of learning to read Hebrew with its entirely different alphabet and sound system, interpreting ancient texts and offering personal reflections on God, justice or Jewish history isn’t just academic. It’s meaningful. It’s hard work. And it’s theirs.
What’s especially beautiful about bar and bat mitzvah in Vermont is that there’s no pressure for lavish productions or over-the-top parties. Here, some of the most moving celebrations have been as simple as a picnic at Oakledge Park or a lunch of a child’s favorite foods — whether that’s lox and bagels or frosted pop tarts. The focus stays where it belongs: on the young person and the community that surrounds them.
And unlike so many milestones today, this one isn’t competitive. A bar or bat mitzvah is not about being the best, but about being your best self. It is a declaration: I am part of this people, this story, this hope.
For families wondering how to root their kids in something real, something joyful, something resilient, now is the time to start. Fall may feel far off, but Jewish learning and Jewish living thrive when we plan ahead.
In a scary and uncertain world, giving your child the gift of a bar or bat mitzvah isn’t just about honoring tradition. It’s about offering connection, purpose and a path forward. It’s an anchor they can return to for life.
