Losing your parents within a month of each other is hard enough without the guilt of feeling like you could have done more. That was the case for me and my siblings. Though we lost our parents five years ago, I still carry that weight.
Paid leave would have made a world of difference at the end of their lives, and for the rest of ours.
My father’s dementia meant he was often up at night and could no longer perform day-to-day tasks. Not wanting him to go into a nursing home, my mother provided care for him at their home in Eden for more than five years, until she got sick.
A diagnosis of terminal cancer and my mother’s wish to die at home meant my sister, brother and I took on the monumental task of sharing caregiving duties for both of our parents. It was a decision made out of love, but it took a toll on all of us.
I traveled from Westford and my sister traveled from Lowell to take turns spending the days with our parents. I used up all of my employer-provided sick time, and then all of my vacation time.
My sister took unpaid days off, which cost her financially. My brother moved in with my parents and took the night-shift caregiving, while working his job during the day. It left him exhausted and therefore impacted his job performance.
We all could have provided much better care for our parents if the strain of finances and work demands weren’t weighing heavily on our shoulders. The pressure was just too much. We needed paid leave.
We now carry the burden of wishing we could have provided a smoother transition and comfortable end of life for our parents. More than anything, we wish we could have spent more quality time together.
I urge Vermont lawmakers to help families like ours by passing a strong paid family and medical leave program in 2024.
Paid leave means families have support when they need it most. For my family, paid leave would have meant better care for my parents then, and fewer regrets now. We could have returned to work more productive and resilient, having weathered storms with a helping hand.
In the 2023 legislative session, the Vermont House advanced a comprehensive paid leave bill to the Senate. The program would offer workers up to 12 weeks of paid leave to welcome a new child, care for a seriously ill loved one, recover from a health emergency, and more.
It’s the program Vermont families, workers and businesses urgently need. Please pass paid leave.
Tammy Smith
Westford
