This commentary is by Maureen L. Dwyer of South Burlington, who served as an Army nurse from 1967 to 1970, including a year in South Vietnam. She has lived in Vermont for almost 50 years and is a retired nurse practitioner.
Yes, “What’s Going On?” — the title of the late, great Marvin Gaye’s iconic song — is a question I feel we all need to be asking ourselves personally and collectively. I know that I have been and continue asking this query of myself during these times of the Covid virus upending our lives with all its sad losses for many and myriad restrictions endured by all of us.
I also ask this question as I witness all the polarizing extremes, beliefs and unrest manifesting among us across so many spectrums such as politics, wealth, health, race, gender and religion, to name a few.
I know that I have been looking in the mirror more than ever over these many months at my own inner conflicts, biases and triggers having to do with myself or with others which I may not have been previously aware of or preferred not to look at consciously and thus deal with its associated discomfort.
This Veterans Day and time of the year, I find myself especially reflecting on all that unites us as human beings and an intricate part of all of nature on this wheel of life we are inhabiting at this time.
Many soldiers spanning centuries and civilizations were among those who preceded us who now live on this blue planet. They volunteered, enlisted or were drafted and often gave their lives while fighting in wars in the name of various causes. Most commonly these causes were, at least in their ideal, for a better life for all in a particular land with more freedom from real or perceived oppression or domination.
Most of us in the USA are most familiar with the military wars fought over recent centuries by our soldiers on our own turf, as in the Revolutionary and Civil Wars and those in foreign lands. Many made the ultimate sacrifice and others had long-held visible and invisible scars from their military service.
I was one of these very young soldiers who served during the Vietnam War as an Army combat nurse, caring for the wounded on a trauma ICU ward in an evacuation field hospital. Our primary responsibilities and charges were the care of our own injured or sick soldiers and then, our allies, until they were stable enough to be transferred to a more advanced level of care in an Army hospital in Europe or Japan.
However, we also cared for the wounded Vietnamese civilians caught in the crosshairs of rockets, mortar or other forms of ammunition from either “side.” Our charges, too, when room on our ward, were the “enemy” or North Vietnam soldiers and the Viet Cong civilian guerrilla forces.
All of us military physicians, nurses, medics and civilian local hospital staff worked long hours every day as the operating room continuously received new patients to be put together again in some way from their wounds and then released them to our intensive and compassionate care.
Whether our patients were U.S. soldiers or our allies, civilians or enemies, they all were the same in their hospital “Jonny” open at the back and the pallor from their injuries seen on their faces sometimes indistinguishable from the white sheets. Their deep, hopeful eyes as we tended to their wounds, bandages, IVs, blood transfusions, respirators or whatever else was required were locked into the eyes of us who tended to them.
English was a language our soldiers understood when we cared for and talked with them, as well as nonverbal communication in the form of heartfelt touch. For the Vietnamese casualties, translators were employed but caring touch and reassuring eyes and sign language were often more effective.
From those years as a 23-year-old Army Nurse officer until now, after a long career as a registered nurse and nurse practitioner, I see life on this Earth as a very precious journey for us all, with the thread of connectivity and inclusivity uniting all of us human beings. Life is to be lived, not discarded or diminished in our attitudes toward ourselves or others.
There is so much more to discover, behold and be pleasantly surprised to witness underneath the labels, assumptions, stereotypes and limited containers we imprison ourselves and others in by our judgments. Most of us just want to be seen, heard, understood and accepted for who we are.
That doesn’t mean we all have to agree with each other, but we can respect, listen and be present to each other’s point of view and unique lens through which we each view and grasp life. I ask myself if it’s possible to meet with each other without always having an agenda where one of us has to end up being right or wrong.
Yes, I have seen and believe strongly — through those eyes of my former younger self to those I peer through now, which have witnessed much in life — that no matter our status or station, we are all the same in our humanity, with our vulnerabilities and frailties as well as tremendous capacity to heal, grow and transform ourselves.
I feel more than ever that now is the time for all of us, including myself, to breathe deeply and take a good look into the mirror of ourselves. We are all a work in progress. No need to blame or shame ourselves or others for what disturbs us or makes us feel uncomfortable. It is not Us vs. Them, but in reality, even throughout the course of all the wars ever waged throughout history, all US!
So, what I would offer is the suggestion to focus on what unites us as amazing human beings and is common to us all organically and spiritually. It doesn’t have to all look, taste or feel the same for each of us. Often as we live in our unique process, especially in our individual expression of joy, we can more easily celebrate those different but equally unique expressions of joy in others. A good starting point, I feel. At least we can let go of demonizing and condemning each other in our differences and bless the other, let them be and walk away. continuing on our life path.
In conclusion, I again ask, ”What’s Going On?” Perhaps, by looking in the mirror within ourselves as well as into the eyes, hearts and souls of each other, our answers will come. In the meantime, let us strive to put down the sword, between and among us, for as Marvin Gaye went on to say in his song, “War is Not the Answer!” I echo his sentiments!
Let’s instead share more joy, laughter, delight and peace while on this planet and, when we find ourselves tempted to pull out our swords in the name of justice, to also consider justice’s partner embraced in the beginning two words of another song of his: “Mercy, Mercy … Me!”
