When the first Covid-19 death occurred in Chittenden County last March, Michele Ready Ambrosino was called in to remove the body.
She and her staff at Ready Funeral and Cremation Services weren’t sure what to expect. Questions about the spread and severity of the virus remained unanswered, and Ambrosino hadn’t yet been able to obtain the personal protective equipment recommended for anyone coming into close contact with the virus.
None of Ambrosino’s staff members have become infected. Now, all have been vaccinated.
But the initial period of uncertainty caused immense anxiety for Ambrosino and her husband, John, who co-direct the Burlington- and Essex Junction-based funeral business.
“My biggest concern was that if one of us happened to get sick and we had to quarantine, I did not have the luxury of closing my business [temporarily]. We would have had to close our doors [permanently],” Ambrosino said.
Ambrosino anticipated several weeks of disrupted operations. Instead, they have faced a full year of unpredictable challenges. Memorial services, viewings and meetings have been moved almost entirely online.
“When someone passes away, our natural instincts are to gather and support each other and celebrate that life,” said Chris Palermo, who retired last year as owner of the Perkins-Parker Funeral Home in Waterbury and now runs the Vermont Funeral Directors Association. “We’re a very tactile and social species, so Zooming people into a service doesn’t have the same effect as being personally present.”
Without in-person services, families don’t get the closure that funeral directors try to provide, Ambrosino said.
“You can feel the frustration in the families dealing with death on top of the pandemic, on top of the feelings of cabin fever, on top of not being able to socialize for a year. That stress sometimes comes home with you,” said Greg Camp, owner of Cabot Funeral Home in Woodstock.
Running a funeral home was already a demanding job before the pandemic, especially for small, family-owned businesses, as most in Vermont are. Last year, the Ready Funeral Services staff of five assisted over 340 families.
Funeral directors are typically on-call at all hours of the day and night to remove the body and then deal with cremations, dressing, cosmetics, caskets, paperwork and obituaries. They plan services, coordinate all the details, and meet with families. As Ambrosino describes it: “Death doesn’t have a timeline.”
Ambrosino sees comforting and supporting mourning families as her most essential duty. “The hardest part for me during a pandemic is that I can’t hug everybody, and I have always hugged my families,” she said.
Ambrosino often knows the people who died and their families. She grew up in the Burlington area and has managed hundreds of funerals in the last decade. For her, the work is personal, often emotional.
Camp is also a hugger who relies on in-person conversations to connect with his clients. Without those possibilities, he finds it incredibly hard to help families through their grieving. However, he has noticed that, when he calls the families he is serving, people tend to stay on the phone and chat for much longer than before.
“People are craving human interaction. We as humans need that,” Camp said.
Many services postponed
Most funeral directors are in the business to give comfort, while handling the details of the thing no one wants to think about.
Although limited in-person gatherings are again being permitted, many families have chosen to delay funerals in the hopes of hosting larger events later this year and that distant family members will be able to travel safely to pay their respects.
Whether families are holding smaller gatherings now or postponing funerals, they are generally intent on keeping to tradition for the final disposition of the body.
“Most families are very passionate about what is right personally for themselves and their loved ones and I don’t think families are deviating from their beliefs because of gathering size,” Ambrosino said.
Palermo predicts a huge crush of services this spring, summer and fall.
“The challenge going forward is going to be accommodating all of these families who have put the pause button on grief and celebration and working to be able to bring all of that to fruition in a timely manner,” Palermo said.
Camp says the in flux funerals will create some stress for his staff, but is confident that they’ll be able to fulfill their obligations to families who’ve been in mourning for months.
For Ambrosino, no challenge can compare to the ones posed by this past year.
“It has been a year of a lot of no’s. I’m looking forward to the day when I can say ‘yes, absolutely’ instead of ‘no, we can’t do that,’” she said. “And I really hope that I can hug people soon.”
