Editor’s note: This commentary is by Dr. Lynda M. Ulrich, of Fairfield, who is the founder of Ever Widening Circles and author of “Happiness Is an Option.”
Terror is an emotion used to gain power and influence, mostly because it often works. It triggers our most primitive impulses: anger, scarcity, panic, apathy, and suspicion of one another. By that standard, terror could be the emotion that best defines this moment in history, but could it be because we are letting it?
You know the definition of “terrorism?” It is simply “coercion.” Intimidation and oppression would have to be included in that because they work at the level of “overwhelm” that many of us are feeling. Terrorism is any act meant to use fear to weaken a community and dominate our attention.
The new lauded Netflix documentary, “The Social Dilemma,” makes it clear that the people vying for our attention on the internet, social media, and the 24-hour opinion/news cycle, are using the power of terror to dominate our time and perspective, by triggering those exact emotions.
If that is true, then the right question to ask ourselves is, “Who are we inviting into our lives to terrorize us right now?” Terror leaves us apathetic (hopeless) or paralyzed (with fear), and if it divides us, who wins?
That may sound familiar.
We used to have a personal life and a working life, but now we have an “online life” seamlessly crippling the other two. We have accepted the status quo — panic messaging — coming from all directions online and it is leaving us powerless to stop the overwhelming noise. The chaos-building activity in all things internet is ruining our individual and shared futures.
I read an article in mainstream media that used 2,000 words to rehash and amplify the terror in all ongoing disasters. Here’s a paragraph that represents sentence after dreadful sentence:
“Many of us are vacillating between horror and disbelief at what can only be described as an American nightmare. Devastation doesn’t cover it. It’s impossible to know if the worst is behind us or still lies ahead.”
Well, no, it is not impossible. Indeed, it is plausible to pause and ask, “Who needs to be fearful and sad, right this moment?” Of course, people with fires and hurricanes bearing down on them must use those emotions to survive. They are in a class by themselves.
If the rest of us can pause, steady ourselves, and realize that we are not personally in harm’s way, then our reactions could be helpful and we might actually find a way to start thriving again. Humans are built to thrive when helping each other.
Reactions like horror, despair, and disbelief rarely make the most of our ability to be thoughtful — and useful. With surety, there are countless things we can do: We can send money to the American Red Cross agencies in those hard-hit communities surrounded by the fires; we can send supplies to shelters. As to the ever-burgeoning political division, we can stop giving our attention to anyone who is not a bridge-builder. Because it really doesn’t matter which side you stand on. If we give oxygen to people ratcheting up our fear of “the other,” then measured voices of reason will not be heard.
To be a part of the solution, and to avoid being overwhelmed by that constant drumbeat of doom and gloom, we must rise above and see it for what it is: unhelpful and irrational.
We can not fall prey to a victim mentality in our online lives or it will be our undoing. This is the result for which any act of terror aims.
When we dive into those screens in our lives, it is time to remember that we must be repulsed by the game being played with our emotions and most primitive instincts. Here is where we all have power. We can decide to be purposeful online. We can pause and ignore the chaos-builders, and reward content creators giving us a balanced picture of ourselves and the world. If we start giving attention to thoughtful, measured, and helpful content then the internet, social media, and always-on opinion/news cycle changes overnight.
So, how do we squash this current wave of self-imposed terror that grips our online lives? We remember that the internet — today — is akin to a toddler running around with scissors. We need to stop running with it.
Then, when you see another story of doom and gloom that escalates the drama for everyone (a story with no problem solvers nor solutions) you pause. You ask yourself, “Who needs to be fearful and sad right now? Who, instead, can be thoughtful and helpful, and be part of solutions?”
If the virus, racial inequality, fires, or hurricanes are not bearing down on you right this second, you need to be thoughtful, measured and helpful in order to help get us out of this mess. As renowned data-driven expert Hans Rosling has said: “It is possible for things to be really bad, and all the while, getting better.” We can all make things better for someone in these times, which can become a rising tide that lifts every boat in this constant storm!
Can we truly improve what lies ahead? Yes. Every one of us can do something if we don’t succumb to apathy, paralysis or division.
And while we are at it, some more good news: “The Social Dilemma” has bestowed upon us the knowledge we need to make the leap to a new era where more of us are doing that!
Coming out just in time, this documentary cannot be taken as yet more noise to make you want to hide under your bed. It is thoughtful and helpful: two qualities many of us are craving. Over the course of a few hours we hear from people who are fearful, angry, confused, and worried about their futures, except these fine folks are also the inventors of the infinite scroll, Facebook’s “Like” button, and the YouTube algorithm that serves us what we see next. We meet an ordinary person who once ran Pinterest; director of monetization at Facebook, and a venture capitalist who brings all the telltale signs into sharp focus.
There is a new version of possibility, one where most of us see ourselves not as victims of the internet but rather the solution to this problem. In order to be helpful, I’d like to offer a perspective that I’ve waited for someone to celebrate for nearly seven years in my own work as an internet curator.
Because the internet is an “attention economy,” everything lives or dies by our clicks. Even with all the known manipulation, money, and deception, we are simply getting more of what we click on. We have met the enemy — us — and it is because someone is always counting the clicks we make.
Whatever we give our attention to — whenever we comment, share, like, and give our time — we will inevitably get more of, as an individual and a worldwide collective of internet users.
As founder of Ever Widening Circles — a media outlet challenging this negative dialogue every day — I have been pointing to an enormous wave of progress and goodness, well underway in the world, that few people realize they can access, because they don’t know it exists.
What circulates most on the internet is a slice of reality. It’s time we started seeing the rest of the story about each other and our vast, unstoppable world.
There are countless stories of progress, generosity, ingenious collaborations, important new insights, and innovations now buried by the craziness that is being handed our attention. It is a game you can exit, however, with a few quick shifts in behavior:
–Seek signs of goodness and progress. Right now, the internet in all its glory is waiting to be elevated by your attention.
— Pause before you click on anything. Ask yourself, “Do we need more of this?” What you engage with — even for a millisecond — you will inevitably get more of.
— Ignore more. We can ignore chaos-building into obscurity.
— Share the goodness you discover around you. The momentum will come from what we share — so share it every single day.
I realize the simplicity of that plan doesn’t feel like the blueprint of a great battle, but so what? We need to do what every generation has done in history when it’s back was to the wall and terror reigned supreme. We paused; we ignored the noise; and we worked together to turn things around. So let’s do one thing right this second: shift our contempt for one another to curiosity, pool our collective energies, and change the habits that got us into this mess.
The volume of negativity in our lives has our backs to the wall! We need to do something that someone should have told us to do a generation ago. It’s no longer sustainable for us to mindlessly lead with the most primitive parts of our brains while spending time online. We need to raise our game and teach the next generation to raise their games, too. The objective is to use the internet with intention, always.
Our number one job now is to stop the terror we are inflicting on ourselves and get busy. We are the ones who will begin a new era if we decide who gets our attention from this moment forward. There is no better time to do this than 2020.
This is a time that deserves change, during which we can win the battle to realize our true potential.
