The Winooski — Vermont’s premiere local satire site — is founded and edited by Adam Hall.
QUECHEE – Several Vermont bridges are concerned this week that their privacy may be violated after racy photos were released online anonymously this week depicting several covered bridges in various states of undress. We will not show the photos here for the sake of our more sensitive viewers, but here is a link to one of the photos that shows a bridge in Quechee without full covering.
“It’s a scary time we live in,” said Gifford Covered Bridge, of Randolph. “Not everyone knows this, but I wasn’t always as covered up as I am now. Back in my younger days I made some poor decisions, and I started out as an uncovered bridge. I don’t know if there are any pictures of me from that time, but can you imagine? I hope the police can find whoever is doing this and stop them before any more bridges have their images ruined.”
Gifford’s neighbor Braley has also expressed concern about potential uncovered photos being released, and Vermont State Police have vowed to put all their resources into preventing any more of the devastating photos from making their way online. The state isn’t used to dealing with such modern issues, however, and police representatives won’t guarantee that more photos won’t eventually surface.
“We started a task force to track down these internet scumbags,” said Lois Ignall, who is spearheading the effort to find the culprits, “but we don’t actually have much internet here, so it’s been a slow start. The first thing we’re working on is wandering around outside trying to find the place with the best connectivity, and then we’re going to park a van right under that spot and hope the wind doesn’t change. Once we get online, we’ll try to figure out this worldwide web thing, and from there I assume it will be easy to find people. We will stop this from happening again, if we can.”
For now, bridges are urging people not to look online at any pictures that surface. Those pictures are illegal, a clear violation of the rights and privacy of the bridges, you would have to be a monster to look at them, and we have links below for anyone who wants to check out the slats on those babies.