MONTPELIER – Vermont Governor Phil Scott has released a new plan this week to reduce the state’s prison population by building a new prison. The new 850-bed facility would be built in Franklin County and would dramatically increase the number of inmates in the state, thus reducing the prison population.

“It’s really quite ingenious,” Gov. Scott told the press. “You see, we can’t reduce the number of prisoners, because people in prison are, technically speaking, criminals. But if we build a new prison and fill it up, we could then release those people, thus reducing the state’s prison population! Like when gas stations raise their prices five cents the day before a five cent sale. It’s just economic sense.”

The Vermont branch of the ACLU has come out against this plan of arresting a bunch of random people for a short time and then releasing them, saying it could be a potential civil rights violation. Gov. Scott responded to the ACLU, saying that locking people up without a formal legal reason is now the norm in this country, and that Vermont is “way behind” in this area.

The plan does have some supporters, who hope that the new prison will be used to bring home many of the state’s inmates in out-of-state prisons. “Once we get all the prisoners back to Vermont, then we can start releasing some of them,” said attorney Sam Antix. “And they’ll all need representation. Think of the jobs!”

Adam Hall is the founder and editor of The Winooski, Vermont's premiere local satire site. He has been writing for The Winooski since May 2017, and has been featured on many other sites, including The...