This commentary is by Assia Hamana of Winooski and Alice Urban of Burlington. Assia is a graduate of Winooski High School and a junior at Brandeis University in Massachusetts, studying international relations. Alice is a member of the MENTOR Vermont board of directors and is a director of business development at Tetra Tech, a global engineering and consulting firm with an office in Burlington. They were both participants in the U.S. Committee for Refugees and Immigrants (USCRI) Vermont’s Crossroads Mentoring Program.
Assia: When my family and I first resettled in Vermont from Chad, one relationship in particular helped me to embrace my new home. I’m fortunate to have supportive parents, but when we arrived in Vermont and I entered the eighth grade without the ability to speak or write in English, I faced a number of obstacles.
A case worker suggested I participate in Crossroads, a new mentoring program organized by the U.S. Committee for Refugees and Immigrants Vermont Field Office and supported by MENTOR Vermont. I was hesitant to be matched with a mentor as I was admittedly not the most extroverted person. I was fortunate to be matched with Alice, an outstanding mentor who never gave up on me.
For young people, the presence of trusted adults beyond their immediate family plays a critical role in their development and well-being. Trusted adults provide a wealth of diverse perspectives and experiences, enriching young people’s understanding of the world and broadening their horizons. At the same time, I think there is great value for trusted adults to engage with young people, as we can offer new perspectives and ideas as well.
The first meetings with Alice were difficult for me, often marked by silence on my part, despite Alice’s efforts to engage in small conversation in French. Even with my hesitancy, Alice’s perseverance showed her care. This continuous support gradually broke down my defenses, allowing me to open up and accept her as a dear friend. Alice became a very significant part of my life; she helped me adjust to the education system in the U.S. and was there at one of the most stressful times of my life when I was applying to colleges as a first generation applicant. She is still there for me now in college, which I deeply appreciate.
Mentoring has had a great impact on my life by instilling a sense of community and connection. I am inspired to offer similar support and kindness to others as I enter adulthood. My background as a refugee deeply informs this ambition, and my aim is to contribute positively to the lives of vulnerable individuals whose voices often go unheard.
Alice: When Assia and I were matched as part of USCRI Vermont’s Crossroads Mentoring Program, we had both just moved to Vermont — I from Washington, D.C., and Assia from Chad. While our moves to Vermont were under very different circumstances, we bonded over our newness to the area and the challenges and excitements of building a home in a new place.
Our first meetups were at Assia’s apartment; we read out loud to each other so Assia could practice her English — her sixth language — and we played dozens of games of cards. As we got to know each other and built a foundation of trust, we ventured out to the YMCA to play basketball, to my house to cook and to Church Street to try new restaurants. Assia’s family came to my house for Thanksgiving, and my husband and I celebrated Eid with hers.
Assia is very academically motivated, so much of our focus over her high school years was spent on navigating the U.S. education system and exploring post-high school options. She arrived in Vermont in the eighth grade speaking no English, and her goal was to still graduate from high school on time. She accomplished this goal and went on to be accepted into Brandeis University’s selective Myra Kraft Achievers Program.
I’m not sure if either of us would have expected that those afternoons reading in Winooski or group gatherings with Crossroads would turn into meeting up in Boston to attend a concert or making plans for Assia to study in Geneva this summer, but they have. Seven years later, our mentor/mentee match has grown into a lifelong friendship.
It’s trite to say, but genuinely true, that I’ve learned and grown from knowing Assia as much or more than she has knowing me. I’ve learned about the value and joy of intergenerational friendship, and I’ve been moved by the richness of community as our families became friends. My world has expanded by knowing Assia, and I am a more empathetic, curious, and optimistic person for it.
At a time when research shows that loneliness and isolation are trending upwards, we know that positive relationships are powerful tools for significant change. They bring us together, help us to navigate our divides and create a common purpose. Mentoring can unite us.
To learn more about the impact of mentoring in Vermont or to get involved, visit mentorvt.org.
