This commentary is by Chelsea Myers of Fairfax, a nonbinary stay-at-home mom of two. They host a podcast, “Quiet Connection: Postpartum Mental Health,” where parents and caregivers share their stories of perinatal mood and anxiety disorders, birth trauma, infertility, pregnancy/infant/child loss and more.
A perfect storm of health emergencies have damaged my family emotionally and financially. It would have been much easier to weather if we had access to paid family and medical leave. After the birth of my second child in 2022, I experienced a postpartum hemorrhage, followed by severe postpartum mental health disorders. I was hospitalized multiple times for suicidal ideation, and when I was home, I wasn’t well enough to care for myself or my kids.
It was a painful experience, for myself and my family. I missed the first six months of my daughter’s life.
My partner had to take unpaid time away from his work to care for our children while I was in the hospital. Today, I’m still recovering and he’s working full-time, plus any overtime he can get, to try to make ends meet.
We both have student loans, and the financial shock of unpaid time off pushed us into serious financial insecurity. We do not qualify for government assistance because my partner “too much,” yet we cannot afford basic living expenses.
My husband and I have been together for 16 years, but we’ve never experienced anything like this. After nearly two years, we’re struggling to pay our bills and buy food and clothing for our children. I didn’t have any control over this, but I feel ashamed that my family is experiencing such hardship.
The extreme stress I’ve felt has made my recovery even more challenging. My husband feels guilty that he doesn’t see his kids enough and doesn’t have the energy to be the father he wants to be.
We’re running on empty.
A strong leave program wouldn’t have solved all of my family’s problems, but it would’ve been a helping hand we desperately needed. It would have given us time to approach things with a clearer head, less stress and more security. It would have made my recovery — and my children’s early years — smoother.
It would have been something my husband and I could have counted on during the worst moments of our lives.
The Vermont House advanced a strong paid family and medical leave program, H.66, to the Senate. H.66 would provide workers with up to 12 weeks of paid leave to welcome a new child, recover from a serious health condition or care for a loved one. If passed, it would be a critical life raft for Vermonters in tough times.
At some point in their lives, everyone will need to take time away from work to care for themselves or their loved ones. I hope that lawmakers will consider families like mine and ensure paid leave is there for Vermonters when they need it.
