This commentary is by Gregory C. MacDonald, a resident of St. Johnsbury.
As the citizens of Buffalo and Uvalde bury their dead from the latest mass shootings, I am struck by how familiar and dare I say “normal” this has all become. “Just another day in America!”
The initial shock seems to wear off sooner. The politicians and pundits go to their respected corners, blaming each other for nothing being done. And then we all just go about our daily business, until the next time.
I have heard that one of the definitions of insanity is to keep repeating the same behaviors, but expecting a different outcome. This seems to clearly fit that definition.
Like everything else in this country, even mass murder has become a politically divisive issue with the familiar result of nothing changing.
Republicans think arming teachers, turning schools into fortresses, and addressing the mental health needs of potential perpetrators will solve the problem. Democrats think that background checks, limiting access to firearms, and treating gun violence as a public health issue will stop the slaughter.
And the beat goes on, and on, and on.
But why is it that primarily boys and men are committing these horrendous acts of violence? Why is it that nobody wants to bring that aspect of all of this up? Is it just too uncomfortable to talk about how our patriarchal system is responsible for many of the social ills that our boys and men suffer from?
Most people don’t know what patriarchy is, even though we have these patriarchal gender roles assigned to us as children and are given continued guidance as to how to best fulfill these roles.
The late best-selling feminist author Bell Hooks defined patriarchy “as a political-social system that insists that males are inherently dominating, superior to everything and every one deemed weak, especially females, and endowed with the right to dominate and rule over the weak and to maintain that dominance through various forms of psychological terrorism and violence.”
The patriarchy permeates just about every aspect of our culture — be it our religious institutions, our entertainment industry, our educational systems, our political systems, our family systems, and even how we relate to one another.
Not only are most of us unaware of the definition of patriarchy, but we are oblivious to the harm it is causing. Under the rules of patriarchy, boys are taught not to feel pain and to deny their feelings, except of course the emotion of anger. I wonder if there might be any correlation between this denial of emotional well-being and men engaging in behaviors that are clearly toxic to themselves and the people they love?
Obviously this issue is too complex to have one simple solution, but to try to solve this without acknowledging the elephant sitting on the table is futile. Eliminating the consequences of the patriarchal system probably won’t happen in my lifetime, but to continue to ignore the impact it is having on our culture and children is not only irrational, but also irresponsible.
