The Winooski — Vermont’s premiere local satire site — is founded and edited by Adam Hall.
NEWPORT – After public pushback on his incentive program that offers $10K to individuals willing to relocate to Vermont and work remotely, Governor Phil Scott has come up with a new plan to increase the populations while creating more jobs. Under a new incentive program, the state will offer $10K, plus the promise of no criminal charges ever filed, for anyone willing to run a ponzi-style scheme in the state.
Part of the deal is that the companies and businesses coming to Vermont will only defraud people remotely, meaning no Vermonters will get screwed out of their investments. This small change to the state’s previous policy on major fraud comes after several complaints over the Jay Peak case, which saw some local residents lose their money.
“I’m very excited about this new program,” Gov. Scott told the press. “I think we’ve shown that Vermont is a very safe place for corrupt businessmen to do what they want to do, and the jobs created by stealing money from other non-residents is going to really boost our local economy. And the potential for me to get free trips to China is an added side benefit.”
Vermonters seem happier with this new program, with initial approval ratings more than double that of the previous program. “This is much better,” said one Newport resident. “Instead of giving out-of-staters ten thousand bucks, let’s steal from them instead!”
