[Y]oung Writers Project, an independent nonprofit based in Burlington, engages young people to write and use digital media to express themselves with clarity and power, and to gain confidence and skills for school, the workplace and life.
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Each week, VTDigger features a writing submission – an essay, poem, fiction or nonfiction – accompanied by a photo or illustration from Young Writers Project.
YWP publishes about 1,000 students’ work each year here, in newspapers across Vermont, on Vermont Public Radio and in YWP’s monthly digital magazine, The Voice. Since 2006, it has offered young people a place to write, share their photos, art, audio and video, and to explore and connect online at youngwritersproject.org. For more information, please contact Susan Reid at sreid@youngwritersproject.org.
Hazel Civalier, 15, of Burlington writes about overcoming her fears (of meeting new people, riding a bike, skiing, flying) and how good it feels to break through and embrace the challenges.
Breakthrough
By Hazel Civalier
[W]hen I was maybe 8 or so
I had a recurring dream
That I could push off from the ground,
Break through the restraining layer of gravity
To swim a few feet above the grass.
The dreams were so concrete
That when I was pulled from their comfort,
I would secretly try to jump into flight,
Soar beyond the smothering fabric.
Part of me still wants to.
I think this was my imaginative mind
Trying to leave behind my fear.
When I was little, I was extremely shy:
Hiding-in-a-basket,
Jumping-into-a-grocery-basket-to-avoid-people,
Terrified-to-order-my-own-food shy.
I was also (like many people) terrified of the unknown.
I was petrified of meeting new people
Especially if they looked different to those I was used to.
I once hid from someone just because they had long hair (I feel really bad about that now).
And if you couldn’t tell already
I was overly cautious.
I didn’t learn to ride a bike until age 11
Because I was too scared of falling.
My experiences with skiing were terrible
Because I was too scared of crashing down the mountain
To actually learn to stop.
Interaction, novelty, and adventure made me tremble.
I was often forced into these situations
Because either I was too embarrassed
Of what I knew was an irrational fear
To tell my parents (or teachers)
Or they were trying to help me overcome,
Even though I was in a panic.
But maybe the challenge did help
Or maybe I just grew out of it.
Though really,
I don’t think there’s a “just” about it.
People, inexperience, and risks –
Those are pretty hard to avoid.
Getting past those fears is hard
Whether the work is conscious or not.
Just because these phobias may be common
Doesn’t mean they’re any less of an obstacle.
However, patient family,
Loyal and supportive friends
And so many others
Have helped me shed these personality shrouds
So that I can accept, enjoy, embrace.
Now I can enjoy sharing my ideas –
And stay out of baskets.
Sometimes I still have a hard time
Focusing on more than one person at once;
It’s like my attention is watered down.
I’m still working on that.
But I’m no longer silent.
I look forward to meeting new people
Even if it still makes me a little nervous.
I am interested to get to know them
And want to value our differences
Rather than fear them.
I move myself forward on a journey
Contained within my two legs and a turquoise bike,
Slice curves across a slope of ethereal white crystals,
And lift off the airport runway,
Peel away from gravity.
During that moment of tension,
I no longer strangle the armrests.
Instead, I lean toward the freedom,
Spread my arms to life,
And fly.
