Madeleine M. Kunin, who was a three-term governor of Vermont, is the author of “Coming of Age: My Journey to the Eighties.”
The question of women, family and work must be as old as Eve, after she picked the apple and handed it over to Adam.
That generous gesture brought evil into the world, according to most scripture. Even worse, their children, Cain and Abel, were far from well behaved. She couldn’t have been a good mother, could she, if one of her children turned out to be a murderer?
We’ve had two recent models of female leadership who stepped away from the political summit; Nancy Pelosi as speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives, and Jacinda Ardern, prime minister of New Zealand.
Pelosi has been in Congress since 1987 and leader of her party for 20 years. Ardern was in the prime minister’s chair for six years when she resigned, sending shock waves around the world. She was thought to be THE role model, able to do it all: a baby, a husband, and prime minister.
Pelosi comes across as a superwoman, but we cannot ignore her early years, when she was almost a full-time mom. She waited until she gave birth to five children before she ran for office.
Who made the better decision, Nancy or Jacinda? I hate to say it, but there is no perfect answer. Combining a career and motherhood is a personal decision. If a mother-in-law steps in to care for the kids, and everyone is happy with that arrangement, it’s great. If the family is stuck with the responsibility of finding child care, no cheers are heard.
Having the income to engage a wonderful nanny helps. Having a stay-at-home dad who likes the title is perfect.
We haven’t made it easy for families to have two working parents or, worse yet, a single working parent. But we can and must do more. Legislation is essential — paid family and medical leave, affordable, quality child care, a decent family income aided by a government subsidy.
We must make these proposals essential when male lawmakers sit down at the conference table and decide which legislation will pass and which will fail. Women have to demand and be heard. They have to say: “We refuse to wait any longer. We need these laws now.”
Government-funded programs will never provide the total answer, but they certainly help. It’s time for women who decide to have careers and a family to be able to make their contribution without having to resign, or having to wait after their childbearing years are over.
Nancy Pelosi gives us one model, Jacinda Ardern another. We are on the cusp of creating more models in this country, if and when we pass critical family-friendly legislation.